Training Wheels

Why tools help then trap: define “training wheels,” spot dependencies, and learn to outgrow them without bypassing.

Training Wheels

You're reading a page about training wheels that is itself a training wheel.

The irony is the teaching. Keep reading or close this now. Both are correct.

KEY IDEA

Every tool that helps you is also a trap in waiting. That's not cynicism—that's the lifecycle of methods in transformation work.

Tools are training wheels: they build capacity temporarily. Use them. Then outgrow them. The wheel that got you here won't get you there.

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The Paradox You're Standing In

This framework teaches you about training wheels. This framework is a training wheel. Eventually, you'll see this page was also a wheel.

That recognition = graduation.

Until then: Use it. Take it seriously. Let it support you.

IF THIS ALREADY MAKES SENSE

Close the page. Go live Tuesday. The concept landed.

Still here? Let's map when practices support growth—and when they become what you're hiding behind.

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What Training Wheels Actually Are

Practices, teachers, methods, and identities that support transformation—for a time.

Spiritual Wheels

• Meditation, breathwork, ceremony/medicine

• Teacher/guru relationships

• Frameworks (yes, including this one)

• Community/sangha

• Identity: "I'm spiritual" / "I'm awakened"

Psychological Wheels

Relational Wheels

Material Wheels

The Meta-Wheel

"Methods are rafts, not shores." — upāya (skillful means), Buddhist teaching

Research Foundation

On methods as temporary:

• John Welwood: Toward a Psychology of Awakening

• Robert Masters: Spiritual Bypassing

• Pema Chödrön: When Things Fall Apart

On scaffolding in development:

• Lev Vygotsky: Zone of Proximal Development (scaffolding theory)

• Jerome Bruner: Scaffolding in learning systems

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The Training Wheel Lifecycle

Here's the structure (yes, another structure about structure):

Act 2: Wheels as solution → "This will save me"
   ↓
Act 3: Wheels break → "Why isn't this working anymore?"
   ↓
Act 4: Wheels as tools → "I use this because I choose to"
   ↓
Act 0: No wheels needed → (But sometimes used anyway)

Translation:

• BEFORE: "I meditate because I'll fall apart without it"

• AFTER: "I meditate because I love it"

Same action. Different relationship. That's the entire teaching.

THE TELL

If you defend a method like a self, you've merged identity and tool.

Defensiveness reveals dependency. Every time.

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Common Wheels: When They Help vs. When They Trap

Training Wheel	Helps When	Traps When
Meditation	Builds present-moment capacity	Becomes avoidance of life
Therapy	Processes stuck patterns	Becomes identity ("I'm broken")
Teacher/Guru	Mirrors what you can't see yet	Becomes authority you won't question
Community	Holds you during crisis	Becomes echo chamber
Framework	Maps territory you're crossing	Becomes substitute for crossing
"I'm healing"	Names valid process	Becomes permanent identity
"I'm spiritual"	Bridges worlds temporarily	Becomes superiority
Achievement	Builds capacity	Becomes worth
This page	Shows you the pattern	Becomes thing you reference instead of live

BYPASS WARNING

Using practice to avoid feeling, labeling harm "surrender," or collecting concepts without integration.

See: Integration vs. Bypassing

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How to Know It's a Training Wheel

Diagnostic Questions

Run this checklist on any practice, teacher, or method:

• Can I function without this for a day?

• Does my identity depend on it?

• Am I using it—or clinging to it?

• Does it still grow me, or mostly keep me safe?

• Would I get defensive if someone questioned it?

IF All Checked

✅ It's a tool you're using

Relationship is clean. Use it freely.

IF Any Unchecked

IF Defensive Reading This

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The Tuesday Test

Observable proof that you've integrated (not just understood):

The Experiment

Skip one daily practice once this week.

Don't skip because you're testing. Skip because life happened.

Then observe:

Tool You Use

Signs:

• Mild preference to practice, but fine without

• Nervous system steady either way

• No stories about "falling off track"

• Can laugh about missing it

Verdict: Integrated. It's a preference now.

Dependency That Uses You

Proof standard: If skipping creates panic, it's not just a tool anymore.

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When Training Wheels Break

Beat 8: Autocorrect dismantles what blocks Act 4.

What Happens

The method stops working. The teacher leaves or fails. The identity dissolves. The community fractures. The framework doesn't fit anymore.

This isn't failure—it's structure.

Common Response

Most people grab new wheels and restart Act 2.

• Old meditation → New meditation

• Old teacher → New teacher

• Old framework → New framework

• Old identity → New identity

This is the loop. Same wheel, different color.

The Work

Let them fall. Don't reach. Find what's underneath.

That's where Act 4 begins.

THE RECURSION

You'll probably read this, nod, and still grab new wheels when yours break.

That's fine. The pattern has to complete itself.

Eventually you'll catch yourself mid-reach. That's the turning point.

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How to Work With This

Post-Act-3: Reintroducing Practices as Preferences

The Protocol

1. Let the wheel fall completely

   • Don't replace immediately

   • Sit with the groundlessness

   • Notice what's actually here

2. Test reintroduction carefully

   • "Do I miss this, or do I miss the identity?"

   • "Does this serve life, or serve avoidance?"

   • "Can I do this and be fully in Tuesday?"

3. Observe the relationship

   • Using vs. clinging

   • Preference vs. dependency

   • Freedom vs. rigidity

The Proof

The Paradox

PRO TIP

Same action, different relationship:

BEFORE: "I meditate because I'll fall apart without it" AFTER: "I meditate because I love it"

If you can say the second version and mean it, you've graduated.

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The Bigger Picture: How This Serves Act 0

All of this—every practice, every method, every wheel—is consciousness playing.

Act 0 is Nobody pretending it needs practice.

The timeline:

1. Act 2: Nobody seeks method (believes it needs fixing)

2. Act 3: Nobody breaks method (realizes method can't fix what isn't broken)

3. Act 4: Nobody uses method (enjoys practice without need)

4. Act 0: Nobody recognizes Nobody (method or no method, always this)

The training wheel teaches you:

• How to hold lightly

• How to use without merging

• How to let go when ready

• That you were never the method

The Meta-Teaching (Click to Expand)

Here's the recursive joke:

You're using this framework (training wheel) to understand training wheels so you can see when frameworks become training wheels.

Eventually: You'll see the framework was also a wheel.

That recognition is the graduation.

Until then: Use it. Take it seriously. Let it support you.

When it stops working: Don't grab another framework. Look underneath.

That's where Act 4 begins.

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When to Get Support

This work is hard to do alone.

Not impossible. Just hard.

Having someone who's completed this arc and can see your blind spots helps.

Or doesn't. Both are true.

Consider support when:

• You keep grabbing the same wheel in different colors

• You can't tell if something is tool or trap

• The wheel breaking feels like self breaking

• You're stuck in the loop and can see it but can't exit

See: When to Get Support Or: Work with Oriya

Or don't. Sometimes the loop teaches better than any guide.

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Related Concepts & Practices

Core Concepts

• Integration vs. Bypassing — Real work vs. spiritual materialism

• Storyteller vs. Character — Who's using the wheel?

• The Tuesday Test — Observable proof of integration

• Pattern Recognition — Seeing your wheel loops

Practices

• Discernment Practice — Tool vs. dependency

• Surrender Practice — Letting wheels fall

Framework

• Beat 8: Autocorrect — When wheels break by design

• Act 4: The Missing Act — Living without wheels (but using them anyway)

Safeguards

• When Tools Become Traps — When to let go

• When to Pause — Knowing when wheels need breaking

Advanced

• Act 0: Divine Play — Nobody practicing

• The Laboratory — Consciousness exploring methods

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The Point

The point isn't to never use tools. The point is to never become the tool.

Use methods. Don't let methods use you.

That's the difference between Act 2 and Act 4.

REMEMBER

If you're still reading this, you're probably looking for the right way to relate to training wheels.

Here it is:

Use them until you don't need them. Need them until you can use them. Then neither.

All roads lead back to Act 0.

This is just a scenic route.

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Last updated: November 2025